BULLETPROOF TIGERS

"The bear population across the Arctic from Alaska to Greenland doubled from about 12,000 to 25,000 since 1960"

"As the climate crisis mounts and Arctic icebergs slip away, polar bears are suffering starvation, population declines, and drowning as they must swim further and further to find food. Seeking to raise awareness for the endangered species' plight, ADDI Concepts has taken wildlife preservation literally by designing a life-vest for displaced polar bears struggling to stay afloat as their homes sink into the sea."

So says the UK Guardian. A life vest for Polar Bears. The fact that the polar bear population is bigger than at any time in human knowledge, and that the ice pack completely replaced all losses in recent decades is irrelevant to this idea (and the story, which blithely and conveniently ignores these facts). We must save the bears. Sad stuff from a newspaper, and a goofy idea. The idea that bears do, in fact, have to dive underwater to get their food is simply irrelevant to this line of thinking.

But wait, there's more. The same company came up with bullet proof vests for Bengal Tigers. This is the kind of solution that sounds like a parody, it sounds like something Kids in the Hall would come up with.

Underling 1: People are shooting Tigers. They're endangered.

Boss: Well, how about Tiger Armor? Cops wear bullet proof vests, we can hook tigers up with them too!

Underlings: Brilliant!!

Underling 2: But... don't Tigers rely on their stripes and camouflage to survive? And won't a hunter just aim at something the vest doesn't cover?

Boss: Who let that guy in here?? Is he the one I didn't get a harumph from?

Underlings: Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!

I want these companies to spend the money developing this stuff, I want them to hire people to make them and buy parts and so on.

Then I want the knucklehead who came up with these retarded ideas to personally walk up and strap these bad boys on the gigantic predators. And I want to find the person who wrote this sentence for a national newspaper and hit them with a fishing pole, just the thin flexible part at the top like Bill Engvall talks about. I want to whack guys that write something like this as if it is indisputable fact:

Polar bears are facing a bleak future as Arctic icebergs continue to melt and ancient shelfs of ice collapse.

That colossal a level of ignorance and lack of research (or deliberate activism) in a reporter should be painful.