TRAY BANS

OK this is just wrong, I'm sorry.

But the once-ubiquitous cafeteria tray, with so many glasses of soda, juice and milk lined up across the top, could soon join the typewriter as a campus relic.

Scores of colleges and universities across the country are shelving the trays in hopes of conserving water, cutting food waste, softening the ambience and saving money.

Trays serve a critical purpose for college life. When the ice and snow comes, the trays become impromptu sleds. I remember well at Calvin College sliding down the hill onto the frozen lake on a tray. I remember the kids surfing on trays while being pulled behind a car (dumb but fun). I remember throwing trays like Frisbee (just don't try to actually catch one). And these are being eliminated?

Seriously, though: a plate of food, a drink, a bowl of soup, a bowl of salad... do they think college students are part octopus? The trays were there for a reason and that reason has not somehow gone away. Not having a tray means making multiple trips, which means more traffic and congestion at the food service areas. It means students, often jammed for time to eat anyway, have even less time to eat, and more stress doing so.

Eliminating trays will not somehow make the college cafeteria seem like a restaurant or home. The food will still be pretty bad, the tables many and loud, the service area basic cafeteria style. According to a environmentalist study group, 126 colleges have abandoned trays, and I bet in five years almost every single one will have them back.

However, one professor sees an important benefit:

Dr. Spina, of the college food service association, cited another benefit: “preparation for the cocktail-party circuit” by having to balance dishware and cutlery. “You eventually have to learn how to hold your hors d’oeuvre and cocktail in one hand while making animated conversation with the other,” he said, “so it’s a life lesson.”

Because if you can't make it at a cocktail party, dear, you must have a menial job and are one of those people who might vote for Governor Palin.

What stupidity people get up to in the name of "sustainability" and "going green" is equaling or surpassing all the idiocy in the name of every other religion.