RELAX LIKE AN EXPERT
As readers here might have guessed I have the kind of mind that runs about a thousand miles an hour, leaping from point to point making connections without any effort or conscious intent. I can't take credit for this, I was just born this way, like someone born short or with curly hair. In some ways it is a big benefit: it can sometimes make me seem very smart (when I just think fast), but in other ways it is a drawback. For example, when I want to go to sleep. It used to take me an hour or more to actually go to sleep, no matter how tired I was. In fact, the more tired, the longer it would usually take.
Because of this, I had a choice of having fewer active, productive waking hours, or sleeping less. So I started to work on ways to help relax better. In addition, as I've mentioned before, I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is a nebulous sort of "we aren't sure what's going on but something is clearly wrong" diagnosis doctors give a large group of unknown ailments. To make a long story short (read the link above for the long story), I will sometimes, apparently without reason or pattern, crash and need a great deal of rest. To get that rest, I needed to learn to relax as completely and quickly as possible.
So although I'm no medical professional nor do I have a degree of any sort (medical or otherwise), I want to pass on a few helpful hints, ways to relax.
The first and most obvious is to notice signs of excitement and nervous distress. If you keep yourself from getting too wound up to begin with, it will take less time and effort to let that spring inside you release and go back to its relaxed state. (I'm using an old watch analogy, kids: you used to have to wind watches, tightening a spring inside which would keep the watch going; if you wound it too much you could break the watch). So be aware of your state, pay attention. Is your stomach clenched, your jaw tight, are you scowling or squinting? Do you have clenched muscles, and do you feel even jumpy and shaky? Just spend a few seconds relaxing, let your muscles go, just take a deep breath and step back a moment. Little things like this can help a lot later, because long periods of heavy stress or nervous tension can seriously hinder rest later on.
To do this means you have to be a lot more aware of your body than many people are. It means paying attention to little clues your body is giving you, thinking about why you feel how you do and what you can do to address that. I don't mean obsessing over your physical health, just being willing to listen. You might not be aware of what it feels like to be really "wound up" like that watch; take some time to find out and isolate each little thing. Does your scalp tense up, do your toes curl, what is it that gives you a sign you're getting too upset and nervous? Take each one and relax it. If you take a few seconds just to do this, you'll be surprised at how effective it is at helping you calm down.
When you do finally get to a place you can rest, make sure its restful. That means no telephone nearby, no games, no people running in and out, just something that is very calm and relaxing. What relaxes people varies a great deal, for example my mom relaxes by doing crossword puzzles. Some people find music can be relaxing, but ultimately silence is the most relaxing because it gives your brain the least to do. Watching television actually requires less brain activity than sitting and doing nothing, so sometimes that can help but it really is best to not have any distractions. For most people that means a quiet, dark comfortable place to lie down in and rest.
Now, when you're in your restful spot, here's where the really useful techniques come into play. If you really need to learn to rest, or you want some tips to relax better, read on.
Because of this, I had a choice of having fewer active, productive waking hours, or sleeping less. So I started to work on ways to help relax better. In addition, as I've mentioned before, I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is a nebulous sort of "we aren't sure what's going on but something is clearly wrong" diagnosis doctors give a large group of unknown ailments. To make a long story short (read the link above for the long story), I will sometimes, apparently without reason or pattern, crash and need a great deal of rest. To get that rest, I needed to learn to relax as completely and quickly as possible.
So although I'm no medical professional nor do I have a degree of any sort (medical or otherwise), I want to pass on a few helpful hints, ways to relax.
The first and most obvious is to notice signs of excitement and nervous distress. If you keep yourself from getting too wound up to begin with, it will take less time and effort to let that spring inside you release and go back to its relaxed state. (I'm using an old watch analogy, kids: you used to have to wind watches, tightening a spring inside which would keep the watch going; if you wound it too much you could break the watch). So be aware of your state, pay attention. Is your stomach clenched, your jaw tight, are you scowling or squinting? Do you have clenched muscles, and do you feel even jumpy and shaky? Just spend a few seconds relaxing, let your muscles go, just take a deep breath and step back a moment. Little things like this can help a lot later, because long periods of heavy stress or nervous tension can seriously hinder rest later on.
To do this means you have to be a lot more aware of your body than many people are. It means paying attention to little clues your body is giving you, thinking about why you feel how you do and what you can do to address that. I don't mean obsessing over your physical health, just being willing to listen. You might not be aware of what it feels like to be really "wound up" like that watch; take some time to find out and isolate each little thing. Does your scalp tense up, do your toes curl, what is it that gives you a sign you're getting too upset and nervous? Take each one and relax it. If you take a few seconds just to do this, you'll be surprised at how effective it is at helping you calm down.
When you do finally get to a place you can rest, make sure its restful. That means no telephone nearby, no games, no people running in and out, just something that is very calm and relaxing. What relaxes people varies a great deal, for example my mom relaxes by doing crossword puzzles. Some people find music can be relaxing, but ultimately silence is the most relaxing because it gives your brain the least to do. Watching television actually requires less brain activity than sitting and doing nothing, so sometimes that can help but it really is best to not have any distractions. For most people that means a quiet, dark comfortable place to lie down in and rest.
Now, when you're in your restful spot, here's where the really useful techniques come into play. If you really need to learn to rest, or you want some tips to relax better, read on.
One of the tricks I've learned is to lie still. I know that sounds infantile, but it is actually something that takes discipline. What I mean is to find a position that is comfortable and stay in it, not moving at all for half an hour or more. Whether you mean to or not, doing so long enough will put your muscles into a rest state and let you calm down. When my CFS gets too bad, I have to do this lie like a corpse and just suffer until it starts feeling better. Nothing else works, so I had to learn to pull it off. The tough part about this is that it can get boring, especially since if I go to sleep when I'm feeling that bad, I'll just wake up feeling worse in a short time, so I have to stay awake until the icky stuff goes away. Another problem is that there's some perverse part of my brain that suddenly decides different parts of my body now need to itch. I don't know if its part of the relaxation, or sleep gnomes or what but it almost always happens. Ignore them; they go away after a while. Yes, its really difficult but they do really go away if you are relaxed enough. Unless a spider is biting you or something.
Another trick is the countdown. I use this a lot when I'm trying to go to sleep. Count down from 100, backward. Don't ram through the count, do it slowly, thinking about each number. The reason this works is two fold. First, it forces you to think about something other than the thousand odd things that might slip through your mind. If they start, focus on the next number instead. Let a second or two pass between each number, say them clearly in your mind, slowly like someone is writing the numbers down. Counting backward helps this focus, because typically people do not count in reverse, so it takes more concentration.
Second, counting down seems to have a psychological effect of moving from one state to another; that final "1" has a sense of completion to it, whereas counting up can go on for infinity. That means you're moving toward something while letting yourself rest. I usually pause a while at 50 to check how well its working, then move on. Count down, without moving, and rest while you do so. Force your brain to focus on one thing as much as you can, and do it in a relaxed, calm way.
Another trick is to force each part of your body to relax. What I do while lying motionless is to start at my toes and relax them, sometimes they'll curl up or tense up. Let each one separately relax and stay that way. Then the soles of your feet, relax them. Your ankles, your calves, your knees, and so on, slowly up your body. Every so often stop and make sure the previous parts are calmed down. Move slowly to your head, lying perfectly still. When you've gotten your whole body relaxed, chances are you're going to feel pretty sleepy - if you're really good at going to sleep, you might already be so. This doesn't just make sure you aren't clenching any muscles but again it forces your brain to focus on something calm and simple instead of darting around randomly and madly over the previous day or what you've been working on. Discipline your mind to obey your will, by giving it something direct and simple to do.
A third trick is the immersion technique. This doesn't involve water, but it does sort of feel that way if you do it right. I imagine myself being slowly, slowly lowered into water. Every part the water touches relaxes and calms. As I am lowered more, more of my body relaxes. This exercise works much the same way as the above, but has a more symbolic and abstract way of doing so, which might work better for some than specific parts.
The last trick is to blank your mind. This is really not very easy to do, and ultimately, you cannot really shut your mind off. What you do is every time something pops into your head, think about calm emptiness. When your mind jumps to something else like "hey I'm thinking of emptiness" move away from it. Keep doing this long enough and you'll find it is easier to do. Eastern religions use this to meditate, trying to achieve a state of nothingness which they believe is closer to ultimate consciousness and nirvana, but all you're really doing is making your brain as calm as humanly possible. That will help you relax otherwise, and if you have your body relaxed, its useful sometimes to do this too.
There is, by the way, a state you can get your mind to, if you're careful and learn, which is very close to sleep and you can force yourself to go to sleep very rapidly that way. I have only been able to do it once or twice, as it is very elusive to find that exact state, but its handy. The only problem is I cannot explain how to do it - just like I cannot explain how to slow or speed your heart rate up (which I can do). It just takes time, practice, and a keen awareness of your body. I'm not some freakish martial arts expert, just someone who had a lot of reason to learn to relax and a lot of chances to do so over my life.
I don't know how common it is for people to have a hard time relaxing or getting sleep, but I do know at least some other people than I are in this position, so maybe these ideas can help a little. If we all were a little more like cats, nobody would need to know any of this; nothing in the world relaxes like a cat.
Another trick is the countdown. I use this a lot when I'm trying to go to sleep. Count down from 100, backward. Don't ram through the count, do it slowly, thinking about each number. The reason this works is two fold. First, it forces you to think about something other than the thousand odd things that might slip through your mind. If they start, focus on the next number instead. Let a second or two pass between each number, say them clearly in your mind, slowly like someone is writing the numbers down. Counting backward helps this focus, because typically people do not count in reverse, so it takes more concentration.
Second, counting down seems to have a psychological effect of moving from one state to another; that final "1" has a sense of completion to it, whereas counting up can go on for infinity. That means you're moving toward something while letting yourself rest. I usually pause a while at 50 to check how well its working, then move on. Count down, without moving, and rest while you do so. Force your brain to focus on one thing as much as you can, and do it in a relaxed, calm way.
Another trick is to force each part of your body to relax. What I do while lying motionless is to start at my toes and relax them, sometimes they'll curl up or tense up. Let each one separately relax and stay that way. Then the soles of your feet, relax them. Your ankles, your calves, your knees, and so on, slowly up your body. Every so often stop and make sure the previous parts are calmed down. Move slowly to your head, lying perfectly still. When you've gotten your whole body relaxed, chances are you're going to feel pretty sleepy - if you're really good at going to sleep, you might already be so. This doesn't just make sure you aren't clenching any muscles but again it forces your brain to focus on something calm and simple instead of darting around randomly and madly over the previous day or what you've been working on. Discipline your mind to obey your will, by giving it something direct and simple to do.
A third trick is the immersion technique. This doesn't involve water, but it does sort of feel that way if you do it right. I imagine myself being slowly, slowly lowered into water. Every part the water touches relaxes and calms. As I am lowered more, more of my body relaxes. This exercise works much the same way as the above, but has a more symbolic and abstract way of doing so, which might work better for some than specific parts.
The last trick is to blank your mind. This is really not very easy to do, and ultimately, you cannot really shut your mind off. What you do is every time something pops into your head, think about calm emptiness. When your mind jumps to something else like "hey I'm thinking of emptiness" move away from it. Keep doing this long enough and you'll find it is easier to do. Eastern religions use this to meditate, trying to achieve a state of nothingness which they believe is closer to ultimate consciousness and nirvana, but all you're really doing is making your brain as calm as humanly possible. That will help you relax otherwise, and if you have your body relaxed, its useful sometimes to do this too.
There is, by the way, a state you can get your mind to, if you're careful and learn, which is very close to sleep and you can force yourself to go to sleep very rapidly that way. I have only been able to do it once or twice, as it is very elusive to find that exact state, but its handy. The only problem is I cannot explain how to do it - just like I cannot explain how to slow or speed your heart rate up (which I can do). It just takes time, practice, and a keen awareness of your body. I'm not some freakish martial arts expert, just someone who had a lot of reason to learn to relax and a lot of chances to do so over my life.
I don't know how common it is for people to have a hard time relaxing or getting sleep, but I do know at least some other people than I are in this position, so maybe these ideas can help a little. If we all were a little more like cats, nobody would need to know any of this; nothing in the world relaxes like a cat.
posted by Christopher Taylor at 8:48 AM
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